Keeping The Secret
by AngelsForeverIntertwined
Summary: Because of the tragic events she experienced one day after school, Usagi feels that to be perfect she must binge and purge to keep her family, friends, and herself happy. Will Mamoru and the Sailor Senshi be able to help her or worsen her disorder?
1. Chapter 1

**Hi everyone! This is my first fanfiction entitled **_**Keeping The Secret**_** and I hope you all will enjoy.**

_XXX_

"Mmm, today was so hard. I think I deserve a nice refreshing…"

The blonde's hand rose and revealed a test paper with a bright red score of 10%. The blonde quickly hid it behind her back while deciding to go to a study session with her friends instead. As she made her way up to the shrine to her friends, she could see them slouching and bent over on their knees out of breath.

"Usagi! Where were you?!" Rei stood at the top of the stairs staring at Usagi with her lip curled in disgust. Usagi cowered back for a moment in fear of Rei's piercing glare.

"I was just on my w-"

"Everyone is tired of your excuses Usagi! You're a useless leader who makes bad grades, is clumsy, never on time, and not to be too blunt but you are getting F-A-T! You barely keep up with us in missions." Shock and hurt flooded the blonde's face. This couldn't be possible. Not everyone could be thinking that about her. They were supposed to be her friends.

"Do…Do you all think like that?" Minako, Ami, and Mako all lowered their heads giving her all the closure that she needed. "Luna? Artemis?" They'd both suddenly appeared from behind the sailor's legs with Usagi's sailor equipment.

"You were the wrong choice after all. You're an inadequate leader and uncoordinated, there's no way you could be the moon princess…" Tears filled Usagi's eyes as she took one last glance at the people she called friends and then took off running into the streets.

XXX

The ditzy blonde walked aimlessly around the city kicking small stones and pebbles that she walked past. _I must be over thinking things. Maybe if I start trying harder then they'll be my friends again…_ Usagi thought to herself. But somewhere deep inside she knew that they were serious this time.

Walking with her head down, she bumped into a tall, muscular figure. "Oh, I'm sorry I didn't see you." She looked up to see Mamoru, her boyfriend. Her face immediately brightened with joy. _Maybe he'll take everything away and make me happy. _"Mamo-Chan!" she squealed as she jumped up to hug him but was blocked by a hand forcefully shoving her away. Confusion flickered across her features as she looked up into Mamoru's malice-filled face. She cowered back for the second time and her hairs stood up straight on the back of her neck. What was going on? "Mamo-Chan?" He cringed slightly trying to go undetected but failing.

"Usagi."

The blonde froze. He never called her by her real name. " Mamo-Chan, you're my boyfri-"

"I don't want to be with you anymore." A lump caught in Usagi's throat and her bottom lip quivered. He couldn't have meant it. He loved her. "W-What do you mean?" He turned his head avoiding her face. "I mean just what I said. You're an incompetent girl who lacks maternal skills, a brain, and constantly obsesses over food." The blonde's head shook unsteadily back and forth.

_This isn't happening. This isn't happening. _

"But I thought-"

"Isn't it obvious, Mamo-Chan doesn't like stupid, chubby girls," remarked ChibiUsa as she stepped out from behind Mamoru smiling cheekily. Usagi looked down at ChibiUsa and her face paled. _So that's why. I understand now. _Mamoru and ChibiUsa walked past the ghostlike blonde. As she took one last glance at them, she could see ChibiUsa stick her tongue out at her.

Usagi stood there in place sullenly with slumped shoulders and sunken eyes. She walked into the nearest phone booth and cried for the next hour.

XXX

Usagi finally made it to her house after a long day of ambling. She opened the door of her house to find the lights off. She flipped the switch to reveal her father, Kenji, waiting for her on the couch. Usagi flinched at her father's stony gaze. His usual brightness had disappeared and she knew she was in trouble. "Where have you been?" he asked as if he already knew the answer.

She gulped. _Not in the phone booth crying over Mamo-Chan and ChibiUsa, that's for sure. _"I was out studying with some friends," she lied. Usagi winced as soon as the words escaped her lips, she'd never lied to her parent's before. "No you weren't! ChibiUsa said you were going to be out all night with some college boy! He even came here and dropped her off." Things upstairs started to stir and she could hear her family waking up.

"I was never ou-"

"Stop your lying," he yelled, "I am tired of your laziness, your complaining, your mediocre grades, and your constant eating. I am withdrawing you from school for the rest of the year and confining you to this house! Now go to your room!" Usagi ran up the stairs into her room and locked herself in her personal bathroom. She stood in front of her mirror watching herself cry.

_First my friends turn their backs on me, then Mamo-Chan breaks up with me and now this? _

Usagi walked out into her room and stared at herself in the full body mirror she owned. She removed her school clothes and examined her half naked body. She pinched the skin on her stomach, her thighs, her face, and her arms. In the back of her mind she could hear Rei's words from earlier.

_I'm a cow. My thighs could wrap halfway around the world, my arms look like knapsacks of fat, my stomach is so huge it could fall to the floor, and I'm getting a double chin. _Usagi threw on a loose night gown and made her way back to the toilet. _If I lose the weight, maybe Mamo-Chan will love me again, my friends will take me back as their leader, and papa won't think I'm such a failure. _

Usagi kneeled down in front of the toilet and lifted the lid. _I never thought I'd stoop this low. I've seen enough movies and shows to know how to do this. It'll be quick and easy. I'll have the rest of the year and this summer to perfect it._ Usagi stuck her index and middle fingers down her throat and watched as her lunch and countless other snacks stained her toilet bowl. She flushed and washed her hands and mouth before going to bed. _This is only for now, just a phase. After this, I'll be skinny enough to get them all back._

Sleep quickly consumed the blonde haired girl as she dreamt of a skinnier and more beautiful version of herself.

**Please R&R!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Here's chapter 2, I hope you'll like it!**

2 Years Later

Usagi stood in the bathroom stall of her new high school hunched over the toilet bowl. _Oh my God_, she thought, _I knew I shouldn't have eaten that muffin Mom gave this morning. I'll be under quota again._ The blonde wiped her mouth with her sleeve and then reached into her backpack to find her blade. She pulled down her skirt a little showing her protruding hip bones and sliced irritated marks into her skin.

_I'll have to punish myself for even thinking of eating. I'm almost goal weight and here I go messing things up again. _

Once she tended to her cuts, she washed her hands and made her way to her Calculus class. When Kenji confined her to the house, he practically shoved math problems down her throat. Now she was the top student in the 10th grade and took all AP courses. She politely smiled and greeted everyone until she made her way to her seat in the back of the room. As she sat, her friend Rina smiled and instantly started blabbing about all of the latest school gossip. "OMG! Did you hear about Mina making out with coach behind the bleachers last week? Totally scandalous! I wonder if she'll be expelled or if coach will get fired and charged as a pedophile. Usagi are you even listening to me?!"

She wasn't.

She was going over the amount of calories she'd consumed today. _A half cup of skim milk (65 calories), a __**WHOLE**__ muffin (120 calories), a piece of toast (50 calories), and a spoonful of jelly (25 calories). Oh God, 260 calories already! I'll have to work double tonight._

"I'm sorry Rina, what were you saying?" Rina gave Usagi a skeptical look and rolled her deep brown eyes.

"Never mind, we'll talk at lunch."

The teacher walked in and Usagi mouthed a sorry to her friend before facing the board.

XXX

It was lunch time, the most brutal part of the blonde's day. She tucked the 100% test paper into her bag and popped a stick of gum _(5 calories) _in her mouth. Opening her locker, an overflow of love letters and candies spilled out. Her face hardened knowing the only reason why boys were giving her the time of day now. _When I was fat no one wanted me. _

She stroked her midback length hair. _My hair is falling out in big clumps. I guess this is the price you have to pay to be beautiful. _She shut her locker and made her way to the cafeteria. Her personal Hell. She could smell the succulent aromas of food when she first opened the door. Usagi had become numb to food a long time ago and she wasn't about to turn back. She sat down at her lunch table with her friends and sipped daintily from her water bottle.

XXX

"Hehehe, stupid Usagi won't suspect a thing." A 14-year-old Shingo stood in his older sister's bathroom rigging her scale. He quietly set her scale to be 20 pounds heavier than what she was. He heard Usagi open her room door and was unbeknownst to her arrival while gloating over his great work. She grabbed him by the shoulders and threw him out of her room. "Stay out of my room Shingo!"

Shingo recomposed himself and scoffed at Usagi's doorway. "Stupid Usagi." Usagi stood in her bathroom in front of her scale panicking about her weight. _I've been eating breakfast all week and mom's been cooking a lot lately so I had to eat that. I'm going to be so huge. _She placed a small foot on the scale with the stick rocking unsteadily rocking back and forth. Placing all of her body weight on the scale, her mouth dropped open at the number.

A _whopping_ 117.

Tears welled and poured out of her eyes as she stripped down to her underwear. That couldn't be true. She grabbed the skin at her stomach and almost screamed at how disgusting her body looked. It was a blur before she realized she'd just made 17 new cuts on her stomach, thighs, and wrists. She went to sleep crying about how to get back to her goal weight.

XXX

The sailor senshi, ChibiUsa, and Tuxedo Mask all stood hunched over with their hands on their knees panting. "This is pointless," said Mako between pants, "we're even farther away from finding the Moon princess than before." Everyone took a few more minutes to catch their breath and then stood straight. "Rei-Chan, I hate to say it, but I think we actually need Usagi. We made more progress with her here."

Rei lowered her head in defeat. It was wrong what she'd done to Usagi, but she was too stubborn to apologize. Not a single one of them had talked to her in the past two years. "Even if we do need her, she wouldn't be able to rejoin. Things are complicated now." Mamoru cocked his head in ChibiUsa's direction.

"What do you mean?"

Everyone averted their gazes ChibiUsa who kept her eyes focused on the night sky. "That last night you saw her, her dad asked me where Usagi was and me, being oh so clever, told him she'd be out for the rest of the night . I thought it'd be funny to see him squirm and freak-out about her having a college boyfriend but he got so angry when I told him and made everyone go to bed. He waited for her all night and then told her she was a failure.

He withdrew her from school Monday and then confined her to the house for the rest of the year and that summer. He enrolled her in school again in the fall of ninth grade, she was happy but it seemed like something was bothering her. She doesn't really talk to any of us anymore, doesn't eat the snacks her mom makes, and gets high marks on all of her tests. Her dad would be mad if she was doing anything but academic work after school and she's always studying anyway."

A pregnant silence filled the room until Rei and Minako broke it with their laughter.

"Usagi?" Minako said between giggles.

"Studying?" Rei snorted.

"Two things that won't ever mix!" they exclaimed in unison while wiping tears from their eyes. Just the thought of Usagi actually holding a book tickled them. For the entire time they'd known her she'd been a ditz. How could she make such a transformation after a measly two years?

Soon after realizing what the little girl had just said, everyone else began to chorus in with Rei and Minako's laughter. But ChibiUsa hung her head in shame, they were making light of the situation because they hadn't witnessed the drastic changes firsthand. They couldn't grasp the horrible depth of Usagi's restricted life. ChibiUsa had ruined Usagi's life in one day and now she didn't have her innocent outlook on everything as she did before.

She walked off absentmindedly in the midst of their booming laughter. Before she knew it, she was at home watching Usagi like she did every night. Ikuko made onigiri balls, Usagi's favorite for dinner, but she was still asleep. Her mother woke her up but when she did Kenji bombarded her with questions about her classes and tests. After politely telling her father that she received all A's he gave her a brief pep talk about college and scholarships.

And then came the most confusing part of dinner to ChibiUsa. Usagi picked at her food cutting it into identical pieces, taking small bites, sipping water between each tiny mouthful, scanning each piece of food like she was calculating something. And then it ended with Usagi's half-finished plate and Ikuko curiously asking her if that was all she was going to eat. Usagi shakes her head as Kenji tells his wife that books and studying are the only fuel she needs. Shingo snickers and mutters something along the lines of "Stupid Usagi and studying is never going to happen."

Usagi then politely excuses herself and turns down Ikuko's desserts to go upstairs. ChibiUsa watched from the sidelines curiously, silently worrying about her distant "_cousin's_'' state.

**Please R&R!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey guys! Back with another installment of **_**Keeping The Secret**_**. Please enjoy!**

The alarm clock in Usagi's room read 6:00 AM. The blonde's muscles ached from her workout at 4 AM that same morning. _864 calories burned_, thought Usagi, _such a great start to my day_. Usagi took a quick shower and weighed herself right after. 116 pounds. _That's it_, she pouted. She grabbed her clothes and looked at herself in the mirror poking at her nonexistent fat. Usagi pulled her laptop from under her bed and typed in a website. After logging in. she began browsing through other users posts.

_**Just lost five pounds on diuretics and diet pills in 3 days!**_

_**Anybody willing to teach me to shove my finger far enough down my throat to puke? My mom says she won't buy me anything else if I don't lose the weight.**_

_**Where's a good place to buy laxatives?**_

_Diuretics and diet pills, eh? I'll have to buy some later today._ Usagi logged off her computer and headed downstairs to "eat".

Today would be perfect, her mother wasn't downstairs yet and she'd left food on the table. Usagi grabbed some of the eggs and bacon and scrubbed it against her mouth to get the smell of food on her breath. "Usagi, is that you downstairs?" The blonde panicked, she quickly dispersed food onto the other three plates and threw some in the garbage under the kitchen sink. "Mmhmm, I'm in the kitchen Mom."

"Did you eat Usagi?"

Usagi always dreaded this new part of her diet. She hated lying to her parents. "Yeah, it tasted great as always Mom. I have to be out now, bye!" Before Ikuko could say another word, Usagi was out the door. Ikuko laughed and shook her head at her daughter's antics. "I swear this girl doesn't even give her body time to digest the food she's eaten."

If only she knew how right she was.

XXX

It was the last period of the day, PE, Usagi's favorite. She always made sure to change before this class to make sure no one saw how disgusting her body was. She ran in the class just before the bell rang and met Rina at the treadmills. Like clockwork, she started with the gossip not even 10 seconds into their greeting.

"Did you hear about Makono and Sunyi? They're an item now, although I could've sworn that he was gay but hey what do I know! Maybe he's bi, y'know that's the trend now-a-days. But he's got such horrible B.O.! Can she not smell him?!"

Usagi half listened as she worked up a sweat on her treadmill. She just had to lose this weight. She'd been too lax with everything lately. _I'll have to stick to a 400 calorie diet from now on and if I mess up I'll make sure to rid it with the diuretics and diet pills I read about earlier. _Through the aching of her sore muscles, Usagi continued to push herself and watch the amount of calories she burned.

She could feel someone tapping her shoulder and turned around to see Rina smirking and pointing in the direction behind her. "Looks like we got a few spectators." Usagi looked behind her to see a group of boys over by the weights waving at her and blowing kisses. She snapped her head back around and blushed profusely resulting in a snicker from Rina.

They were cute and popular but Usagi had no time for boys. Between schoolwork, her situation at home, and trying to manage her unfathomable body there would be no time left for crushes. "I think they like you." Rina remarked. Usagi gave a smile and playfully slapped her friend's arm. "Oh shut up!"

XXX

All of the sailor senshi were seated at a table in the public library. Rei's grandfather was holding an event at the shrine today and they needed to check out a specific book anyway.

"Man! I hate school. It's like you do all this extra studying and then there's not one question on the test about what you read," complained Minako. They'd been there a few hours with no luck of finding the book that they'd been searching for. "Once you get past the mindset of hating school you'll be able to learn and retain the information given to you in the book," Ami replied without looking up from her book. Mako placed her book gently on the table and stood up to full height.

"We've been here for a while you guys and we haven't found what we came for. Maybe we should -" Rei shushed everyone and stared straight ahead skeptically. Everyone gave a confused look and almost began to argue. "Sit down Makoto!" Rei whisper yelled, "I think that's Usagi over there checking out a book. Look!"

They all stared in the direction that Rei was pointing and gasped. Lo and behold was Usagi carrying a few books in her arms and glancing at the literature books. "That can't be her, her hair is too short and she doesn't have it in the usual odango style," declared Minako.

"Take into consideration that we haven't seen her in the past two years Minako-san, a lot could have changed since then," Ami explained. Rei wrinkled up her nose in disgust and quickly resorted to trash talking the miserable blonde. "She's obviously too skinny, our Usagi was too big and slow to keep up with us in battle. Look at her uniform, that's the broach of one of the most prestigious schools in Japan! She couldn't be going there. I couldn't even get in there."

Everyone gathered their thoughts and let the information settle in their minds. There was no way that the girl that they once knew as their friend could've changed that drastically. "Maybe we should take a closer look just to make sure," wagered Ami.

They all stood behind the blonde girl as she conversed with the librarian about the books she'd read over the past few weeks. "Wow Usagi, you sure read a lot more than regular kids your age. Why don't you just go out and have fun for once?" The sailors bodies froze. Their suspicions had just been confirmed. It was Usagi. "I do, I do. Just…not a lot." The librarian shrugged and rang up the rest of Usagi's books as the others slipped through the exit in disbelief.

What happened to Usagi?

**Please R&R! Oh, and also, right now I can't answer any of your questions because I don't even know yet but all I can say is that you will get your answers in future chapters.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Sorry for the sorta late update, hadn't really gotten around to typing. Here's another installment of Keeping The Secret. Enjoy!**

So many calories, thought Usagi as she stood up slowly from her toilet. Her family had just finished up a celebration dinner for Usagi receiving good marks on her test. Her mother made her favorite dessert: taiyaki. Just as she was about to take a bite out of it, she could hear Shingo whispering and snickering things to himself like "Fat Usagi" or "Whale Girl". She placed her fish-shaped pastry and excused herself from the table and entered her room. She tied the measuring tape around her waist and gasped at the sight of the number 22.

_3 more than a week ago. No wonder Shingo said those things._

Now she was standing over the sink brushing her teeth with baking soda and swishing mouthwash around her mouth. Usagi walked out of her bathroom with her pajamas on as her mother walked in with a worried expression. "Usagi you didn't touch your taiyaki."

Usagi shook her head trying to ignore the sweet aroma of the pastry. _Usagi. Just think of being ninety pounds and beautiful._ "I didn't want any," she replied without making eye contact with her mother. "But I thought that they were your favorite. I know that you've been stressed with school lately so I thought I'd make you something special," her mother prodded.

"Well I'm just trying to eat a little bit more healthy and it seems like everyone around here is trying to make me fat!" Usagi snapped. Ikuko recoiled in fear. She'd never seen Usagi angry before and she was quite taken aback to hear such an outburst from her usually bubbly daughter. "I'm sorry Mom, I'm just really -"

"No, I know. You're stressed and I'm just bothering you and making things worse. Goodnight sweetie." Ikuko kissed Usagi's cheek and exited Usagi's room closing the door gently. Usagi exhaled loudly and rubbed her temples rhythmically. _This is getting out of control. _Usagi leaned back on her desk chair and started rocking back and forth slowly putting herself in a hypnotic trance. Out of the corner of her eye she could see something black scurry by. She quickly waved it off as a hallucination.

As she closed her eyes to sleep she heard a soft purring sound. She looked down between her feet and almost jumped in surprise. Luna?! "What are you doing here?!" Usagi whisper-yelled. Luna laid down Usagi's old sailor gear and sat up straight. "I'm here to ask you to rejoin our team as Sailor Moon." Usagi moved over to her bed and began wrapping herself in the warmth of her blanket.

"No."

Luna stared at the blonde girl in disbelief. Did she just reject an invitation into the sailor senshi? "Excuse me?" Luna asked in shock. "I said no."

"But why?" Usagi's lip curled in disgust and betrayal. _Why?! Why?! Oh maybe because you called me stupid, unqualified, and FAT! Or maybe because during battle and during study sessions you guys always found a way to ridicule and humiliate me! Maybe even because Mamoru dumped me for ChibiUsa._

"Because I was useless and unfit to be a leader or regular member of the team. Besides, between school and studying there is no time to find the moon princess." Luna gave Usagi a skeptical look. "Do you expect me to believe that you, Usagi, only has focuses on school and studying?" Usagi shrugged her shoulders. It took everyone that knew her awhile to get used to the idea of her actually studying. "Believe what you want. My answer is still no." Luna scoffed and jumped and exited through Usagi's balcony.

"Your loss," she said curtly.

_XXX_

"She WHAT?" all of the sailors alongside Tuxedo Mask, ChibiUsa, and Artemis yelled. Luna rolled her eyes at their cacophonous behavior. _Must they always be this predictable? _

"She rejected the offer," Luna deadpanned, "I doubt that Usagi or you guys were dense enough to think she'd rejoin and everything would be the same again. She was unanimously voted off the team by people she loved." Everyone shuffled their feet and avoided eye contact simultaneously. As mush as they tried to fight it, a little glimmer of hope flickered through their hearts that she would rejoin and they'd have fun again.

Just as they were caught up in their gloom, a petite figure with dull blonde hair ran past the shrine. They looked closer to see that it was Usagi in sweatpants, a hoodie, sneakers, and headphones in her ears. Without even thinking they all called out her name gathering a few unwanted spectators. She finally stopped running a few blocks away from the shrine and came at her panting.

"S-Since…when…do you…workout?" asked Makoto between pants. _Since everyone started calling me a fat ass_, she thought bitterly. "For the past two years," she said with a fake smile, "It helps me blow off steam."

"And pounds," exclaimed Minako, "What's your meal plan? Better yet, why don't we all catch up at the arcade now. It's just down the street. It'll be like old times, right everyone?" Everyone smiled in agreement while Usagi put on a fake smile. _If only it could be. _

**At The Arcade**

The walk there seemed to drag on forever to Usagi, and now that they were here she could feel herself gagging at the copious amounts of calories her ex-friends, ex-boyfriend, and irrelevant little kid were consuming. Luna and Artemis weren't allowed to come in which relieved some of the stress Usagi harbored. The smell of the food sickened her and she almost puked on the spot.

"Usagi, you barely touched your food. Is something wrong?" inquired Ami. Everyone at the table looked at her and she just shook her head while pushing her plate away. "I would much rather have had a salad," Usagi said coolly while sipping on her cup of water.

Everyone gave each other quick glances of disbelief at the disordered girl's words. Usagi?! Giving up a chance to eat? That just wasn't possible. "Your speech pattern has changed drastically Usagi. What school do you attend?" Ami asked breaking the awkward silence. "I attend Tokyo's School of the Advanced, TSA for short. I take all AP courses, dual enrollment programs, and am currently ranked as one of the top protégées in Japan. My teachers say that I may be able to graduate this year but only if I'm lucky," Usagi beamed proudly.

A pregnant silence filled the table as everyone's jaws dropped. Mamoru, who had been silent the entire time, kept his eyes averted form the skinny blonde. Everyday he was haunted by his horrid nightmares that told him to keep her away safely, but also by the words he'd used to end things with her. He could see her whole demeanor change as tears filled her vibrant blue eyes that night. He hurt her, and in the worst way possible, he didn't believe in her.

XXX

Usagi was finishing up her run after being stuck for two whole hours in agony at the arcade listening to stories that she didn't want to hear about her ex-friends expeditions in the past two years. Did they honestly think that she'd care about what they'd done without her after the severity of their betrayal? The nerve of them! She was appalled that she had ever called them friends before.

"Usako!" a voice called a short distance behind her. Only one person called her that and she was not ecstatic to talk to him at all. After two hours of avoiding his glances she was not anywhere near wanting to keep up her friendly façade any longer.

"Chiba-senpai," she said flatly. She could hear his footsteps slow down to a halt as he registered the venom in her voice. She'd never called him by his last name before. She must really hate him. "No need to be formal Love, you can call me Mamoru."

Usagi turned and face him with a cold glare and put a hand on her hip. "And you can kiss my ass if you think that I'll call you that Chiba-senpai. Now if you don't mind I have to get home before curfew and study."

She turned and ran the rest of the way home leaving a speechless Mamoru.

**Please R&R!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Okay lovely readers, this chapter you get a little snippet of ChibiUsa's feelings and how she's dealing with Usagi, but beware! You'll hate Usagi's friend Rina by the end of this chapter if you don't already. Enjoy!**

"Usagi?"

There was no answer from the delusional blonde as her pink-haired nemesis beckoned to her from her room door. ChibiUsa could feel the anger and the tension radiating through the room as soon as she walked in.

She hated what she'd done to Usagi and their relationship. And now she would pay the consequences. It had been like this since that very night and ChibiUsa was still fighting to get on Usagi's good side. The only time she actually acknowledged her was when her parents were around and they expected her to give the troublesome girl an answer.

ChibiUsa could see that calling her repeatedly would get her nowhere and she just said what she was sent up to Usagi's room to say. "Dinner's ready and your mom wants us all downstairs to eat."

"I'm not hungry," Usagi snapped.

"But U-"

"I said I'm not hungry, what part didn't you get?!" the blonde shouted at her without turning around to glance at the child. There was a pause in shuffling downstairs and Usagi could hear Ikuko's worried voice call out to her. "Is everything alright up there?" Usagi didn't answer and her mother quickly rushed herself up the stairs to tend to her child.

ChibiUsa stood still as a statue in the doorway turning pale as a ghost. She could handle the ignoring and the impassiveness she usually received from the blonde but she'd never raised her voice with her before. Tears filled her eyes and she made her way to her room quickly telling Ikuko that she wasn't hungry either.

_Why? _she thought to herself. _Why did I have to do that to her? Why did I have to be so stupid and mean to her all the time? I guess I know how she felt now… _

ChibiUsa drifted off to sleep dreaming and wishing about one day when Usagi would talk to her again.

_XXX_

To say that Usagi was pissed was an understatement, she was simply infuriated! She hadn't eaten for a whole 3 days and she'd only lost two pounds. **Two pounds**?! She was already irritated with herself and then ChibiUsa just had to pick tonight to bother her about dinner.

_Yeah, another reason to be reminded of why I'm a cow and made such little progress,_ she thought as she fumed. She waited until her mother left the room after playing twenty one questions with her and finally leaving her alone.

_I didn't think that I'd have to use these_, she said to herself as she pulled out the diuretics and diet pills from under her mattress, _but it seems that I won't be able to lose any weight without them. _She guzzled down a glass of water with her diet pills in the lead and then took some diuretics.

She was not about to lose this game.

**At School**

_One slice, two slices, three slices. Just a few more and you'll feel all better. You won't feel the hunger or the pain, you'll be numb just like you wanted to. _

Usagi was in the back of the school building with her blade steady in her hand slicing away at her wrists. She was usually more careful than to do it somewhere that people would notice right off the bat, but today was so stressful. She'd gotten a _**90%**_ on her test today, her lowest score ever, she'd barely slept last night because of the diuretics leaving her frustrated and on the toilet for most of the night, and she was still the size of a whale. How much worse could her life get?

"Usagi I thought I sa-" Rina stopped mid-sentence and for the first time since Usagi had met her she was speechless. "What are you doing?" There was no way Usagi could explain herself with the blood dripping her forearm from multiple slash marks on her arm and a blade in the other hand.

"You're a freak," Rina said with her eyes wide and backing away from Usagi. "Rina I-"

"Stay away from you stupid emo cutter girl! Once the whole school knows about this you'll be the laughingstock!" Usagi's eyes widened, Rina wouldn't do that to her. She was supposed to be Usagi's friend. Or so she thought. "Rina please. I'm begging you, I'll do anything just please don't tell," Usagi pleaded with tears in her eyes. But it was too late, Rina was running and screaming up and down the hallways how Usagi was an emo cutter girl to everyone and gossip was already spreading like wildfire.

Usagi staggered over to a tree and threw up involuntarily. She tried to rush to the bathroom to clean herself up without catching too much attention but failed miserably. By the end of the day the whole school had heard about her and she was the new object of ridicule. But she was determined not to let them see her weakness and cry like she had in front of the sailor soldiers numerous of times.

She wouldn't allow anyone to hurt her like that. Not again.

**At Home**

Usagi was home alone sprawled out over her bed with red puffy eyes and a quivering lip.

_Great, just great, _she yelled at herself, _as soon as I try to trust someone again they go and betray me. Maybe this was for the best. _Sitting up in her bed she peered over to one of her hidden drawers full of binge food.

_I'm going to regret this later. _She began to pull out numerous bags of chips, packs of cookies, and assorted candies eating them all without really tasting as she consumed and pushed back her feelings with food. _I wonder if anyone would cared if I died? Could you honestly eat yourself to death? I wonder if it's slow and sweet so that I could just end it all with something that I loved near me at least._

When everything was gone she rushed to bathroom and pushed her fingers all the way to he back of her throat several times before she saw blood come up and her throat burned in agony. She grabbed her diet pills and diuretics quickly taking them all at once.

_What was I thinking eating all that food so carelessly? I'm sure to have gained at least ten pounds just in that one sitting. _She quickly cleaned up her mess just in time for her parents to come home from some date that she'd heard nothing about. Usagi then made a promise to herself that if she couldn't be the most beautiful or popular girl at school then she would at least be the skinniest girl there. She smiled as she looked in her bathroom at her pale complexion.

_Watch out everyone. The new and improved Usagi is coming soon._

**Please R&R!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Woah guys, I didn't expect you all to review so quickly. Anyway, here I am with another update to Keeping The Secret. Enjoy!**

_Oh my gosh. Why do I even bother every morning to wake up when it's always like this? _

It had been a whole week since Rina blabbed to the entire student body about Usagi's cutting. School had been Hell ever since. She had seen all of the superfluous amounts of horrible pranks and tricks her classmates had in store for her.

From the whole school coming in with painted bloody wrists that said **FREAK** and **PSYCHO**, to opening her locker door finding razor blades instead of the love letters she once received daily.

But Usagi had surprised even herself with how brave she was being. She was able to not burst into tears at all the things they did to her like her old self would have and even was able to keep a straight face while a few girls confronted her in the bathroom saying that she should die already and stop prolonging the agony. The lead girl had even told her she should put herself and others out of their misery by jumping off the nearest cliff.

But Rina, she hadn't heard from her since the day she exposed Usagi. It wasn't like she didn't come to class, she was always there, but they avoided each other like the plague. The most she's heard from her was on the same day she exposed and when they were turning in their group assignment, she so kindly remarked: _**I hope you didn't get any blood on it freak. **_

Now, Usagi was home early like she'd been for the past week and indulging herself in her schoolwork. Seeing as she had no one to hangout with or distract her after school anymore, she had more time to study, sleep, mope, and exercise. Her father wasn't fazed by her sudden abandonment of normal high school girl activities but her mother worried for reasons unknown to Usagi. But she found that she would be alright for a while and she'd lost 12 pounds since the incident and was currently 103 pounds.

_Thirteen pounds to near perfection_, she thought to herself. As she rose from her seat to take her daily dose of diet pills and diuretics she saw Luna at her balcony inviting herself in again. "Why are you here?" Usagi asked masking her irritation with concern. "To inform ChibiUsa about the new enemy," she said getting quick and to the point. _Then why'd you have to come straight to my room? _The blonde asked herself in annoyance.

Just then, an idea struck Usagi and she wagered with herself internally. _If I became Sailor Moon again, I could get a workout and burn off a bit of steam from school. Plus, they need me to make progress with their mission to find the moon princess. It's a win-win situation!_

"Does your offer to rejoin the sailor senshi still stand?" Luna nodded her head curtly at the blonde with confusion laced in all of the black cat's features. "Yes…if you would like the position back." Usagi nodded with a smile and Luna beamed with excitement. "That's great! What made you reconsider?" The blonde scratched behind the bossy cat's ears and watched as she purred happily and arched her back in satisfaction.

"I've just been doing a lot of thinking this week and decided to give it another go," Usagi replied as she laughed at the easily deceived cat. _If only you knew why. _

Luna coughed awkwardly and moved away from Usagi's hands ashamed of being so easily distracted and Usagi saw this as a chance to embarrass the cat. "I bet even Artemis can't get you to purr like that," Usagi winked at a blushing Luna while smirking at her sexual innuendo.

"I'm leaving!" Luna huffed and scurried to ChibiUsa's room.

_XXX_

Mamoru was sitting in his apartment complex still shell-shocked abut Usagi's outburst. Since when did she use profanity? And grow a major set of balls?! It was almost…attractive in a way. Not in her usual crybaby ways that once lured him into her trap, but in a more mature way that showed something suitable for a girl her age. Usagi Tsukino, the once crybaby and overeater herself, had blown off Mamoru Chiba. He still couldn't believe it.

He watched ChibiUsa leave his apartment, their tutoring had run a little late and now he could see her practically running to her house. Wanting to be a gentleman, he grabbed a coat and shoes and chased after her in the night _'walking' _her home. Once they got to the door of the Tsukino household, Mamoru was almost too scared to knock.

_What if she answered? What if her mom answered? Or even worse…her dad. _What would he say if he saw them? Would he stand there like an idiot with his mouth gaped open like a fish and watch flies swarm in? Or would he have enough courage to say something remotely witty?

_Might as well get this over with,_ he sighed inwardly. He rang the doorbell and was met with the breath of fresh air that he once called his own. Usagi. She looked down at ChibiUsa with a blank stare and watched as she walked in the house and then looked up at Mamoru with the most disgusted look she could muster before attempting to slam the door in his face.

"Wait!" he exclaimed. His foot was wedged in between the door and she made no attempt to ease his pain. He sighed and ran his hands through his dark hair. "I think I owe you an explanation. I was ju-"

"There is no need for an explanation. It's over and done and there's nothing else for you nor I to ponder about. There's nothing you can do to change it."

Mamoru sighed, he should've seen this coming. There was really no way to justify the way that he'd broken her heart. Once she heard that it was all over a dream she'd probably smack him senseless. "I just want to say I'm sorry." Usagi's piercing blue eyes narrowed in hatred and she rolled them still jamming his foot in the door. "There are no apologies to reconcile what you've done. Now leave off of my property in a civil manner or the police will have to join the party," she said calmly.

Mamoru removed his foot from in between the doorway and flinched as she finally shut the door in his face. He turned and stuffed his hands in his pockets. _This is going to take so much longer than I thought._

_XXX_

All lights were off in the Tsukino household and there lay Ikuko and Kenji in bed. Ikuko stared up at the ceiling worrying about each of her kids and wondering if they were all okay. She rolled to one side and tapped on her husband's shoulder.

"What?" he replied in a lazy, sleepy voice.

"Do you think Usagi's doing alright? I've been worried about her lately. She doesn't do the things normal girls her age do. She's always here and cooped up in her room." Kenji rolled over with drowsiness evident in his eyes and looked at his wife. "Ah, Ikuko my love, you've always been a worrywart. I'm sure everything's fine. Usagi's finally getting her grades up, Shingo is getting into different sports clubs, and ChibiUsa is fitting in just well at her school. If there were something wrong don't you think someone would have contacted us by now dear?"

Kenji kissed his wife on the forehead and rolled back over into slumber. Ikuko considered what he said and fell asleep too but her mother's intuition told her something was very off with her children and soon she'd find out.

**Please R&R!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Hi everybody! I'm back with another installment of Keeping The Secret. Warning: You may hate her parents and Shingo by the end of this chapter. I hope you all enjoy.**

_You have got to be flipping kidding me!_

Usagi was currently sitting in the guidance counselor's office waiting for the counselor to come back in and speak with her about her "_problems_." Usagi could tell just from the woman's tone that word had not only gotten out to the students, but also the teachers about her cutting.

_This is so stupid. It's not even that serious, she doesn't need to call my parents for something as trivial as this._ The counselor finally returned to the office after a full 20 minutes on the phone contacting the delusional blonde's parents. She cleared her throat and sat up a little straighter attempting to look as professional as possible like she hadn't gotten her degree off of Everest. "So Usagi," she started, "Why don't you talk to me about what's going on in your life. Anything going on at home? School? You can be open with me about it." Usagi tilted her head to the side giving the counselor an '_Are you serious?_' look and sighing.

"With all do respect ma'am, why exactly am I here?" Usagi's guidance counselor rubbed her temples in frustration and looked up at Usagi after gaining a little bit of her patience back. "You're here because the art teacher saw some blood on the sleeves of your shirt and it's not a secret amongst anyone at this school that you're cutting yourself. Now Usagi, I am only here to help you with your problems if you allow me to. I have contacted both of your parents and they both said that they are on their way to pick you up. Would you like to talk to me before you have to explain anything to your parents?" the counselor said with a fake smile plastered to her face. Usagi glared at her and gathered her things on the way out the door until she spotted her frantic mother at the front office.

Ikuko wrapped Usagi in a hug and led her to the car. It was a quick and silent ride home, neither party knew what to say or do. When they finally arrived at the house, Usagi tried to make a dash for the door until Ikuko grabbed her wrist with her bangs covering her eyes. "Show me…" Ikuko replied almost in a trance. The blonde tried to laugh it off as if her mother was crazy. "What are you talking about Mom. There's nothing to show y-"

"Show me!" her mother boomed finally looking up at her with a beet red face.

Usagi flinched at her mother's tone and slowly rolled up her sleeves making her scars visible for her mother. Her mother's eyes widened in shock for a moment and then quickly flashed into anger. Her mother jerked her closer to her face applying pressure to her mangled wrists as Usagi winced in pain. "Mama, y-you're hurting me," she whimpered. "How long?" her mother fumed. Usagi was still trying to free herself of her mother's grasp while her mother held her firmly and harshly in place.

"Let go Mama," she cried. "You're hurting me."

"I'm not letting you go until you tell me how long. Now answer me Usagi!" Ikuko yelled.

"2 years," her daughter replied barely above a whisper. "What did you say?!"

"I said two years Mama…oww! You're hurting me!" Ikuko let go of Usagi and exited the car trying to recompose herself. Before retreating inside of the house she gave Usagi a disdainful look and spat at her the words she most dreaded. "We will continue this discussion later when your father comes home." Usagi sat in the passenger seat of the car frozen as her mother entered the house. After her initial shock, she ran upstairs to her room and cried until her father came home.

**Later That Night**

"Usagi, you've done a lot of stupid things in your life and trust me I know for a fact you've done them, but this," her father badgered as he picked a bone thin, mutilated wrist in pure disgust. "This is for cowards. I thought I raised you better than this. You have not only brought shame to yourself, but also to your entire family. How is Shingo to face his school mates when they find out his sister is this deranged girl who likes to self-mutilate?"

Kenji stood towering above Usagi's 5"7 frame and looked down upon his daughter with nothing but anger thinking how could she even think of doing something so trivial as cutting. If she wanted more attention at home or school then she could have talked to them about it. "We will not tolerate this kind of behavior in this house. You will stop doing this right now. Do you understand me Usagi?"

Usagi looked up into her father's eyes seeing the confusion, the slight anger, and the hopelessness all gathered into one misty fog of an eye color.

_**He's disappointed in you**_, a voice she didn't often hear inside of her head spoke. _**You should have been more careful then to do it in such a public place. Be more patient next time.**_Usagi looked at her mother and saw her playing happily with ChibiUsa in the kitchen as they made pastries. _**Even your own mother prefers ChibiUsa to you. She hasn't even looked at you since you came home. **_

Usagi also looked to see Shingo sitting down in the family room playing a video game on the couch. When he finally noticed her he gave her an annoyed look and stuck his middle finger at her. _**Shingo hates you too now. Not that there's been a time where he hasn't. **_"Yes Daddy, I understand." Kenji smiled at her and patted her head lovingly. "Good, now let's all eat dinner together." Usagi pulled away from her father's embrace and told him that she wasn't hungry and that she'd be in her room studying for her next test.

When she finally made it inside of her room the voice that had been so active today came back when she looked at herself in the full body mirror she had in her bathroom. She stood before it stark naked viewing all of her imperfections as she picked scrutinizingly at her body. _**I guess ChibiUsa was right. No one likes stupid, chubby girls like you. **_Usagi tried to ignore the voice as she stepped into the shower letting the scalding hot water burn her scars and skin.

_**Throw up.**_

_No_, she fought against the voice. _I've been doing so well lately with the diet pills and diuretics. I've already lo- _

_**You've already lost what? Your **_"_**required**_"_** weight? There's always more to lose. Just a glance at your horrendous body could make any man barf. Now do like I said and throw up!**_ Without much thinking, Usagi stuck her fingers down her throat repeatedly as she watched bile and blood escape her mouth.

_**Good**_, the voice said, _**very good my child. Now just keep listening to me and you'll be absolutely perfect. **_

_Yes, I'll listen to you and be very perfect._

_XXX_

"Aah!" were the shouts of the sailor senshi as they fought one of their deformed enemy's henchmen. The deformed blue creature swung it's stalky arms that rooted from its mouth around the sailor scouts and squeezed them all together. They tried all their powers on the creature and nothing prevailed. Tuxedo Mask was trying to stop its arms from growing with his famous roses but that also did nothing to help them. ChibiUsa was rendered useless as she stood there shaking in position, terrified of the monster before her.

Suddenly a flash of long blonde pigtails appeared before them and then disappeared the same time as one of the hideous creatures arms fell off. Then, out of thin air it seemed, Usagi was there in hand-to-hand combat with the creature giving the sailor's just enough time to get rid of the monster. But, Usagi had already punched it to death and flipped it over her with its head between her knees and body slamming it to the ground like a wrestler.

Before they could react, Usagi had already penetrated the beast with her tiara and fled the scene as the ashes of the foe blew away in the dust. Everybody stood there momentarily in shock before gathering more information from the remains of the enemy than they had in the last two years.

**R&R!**


	8. Chapter 8

**Hi guys! I'm back but I wanna talk about something regarding the story. I don't know if you remember Shingo rigging her scale to twenty pounds heavier than her actual weight so I'll start including in the story to help. Enjoy!**

"Show me your wrists," Ikuko barked at her daughter. Usagi complied without much protest. For 5 days, for five _long_ days this had been going on. The nightly checkups to see if there were any new cuts on her forearms. She smirked to herself while her mother closely examined the skin of her arms. _She doesn't know about the other places I hide them. _

"None tonight," she said without looking at her child and quickly exiting the room. But before she could leave she heard Usagi's voice calling her. "Mom, how long do we have to do this?" she asked. Her mother turned and faced her with a scowl making Usagi wince. "Until I trust you again," she deadpanned before making a full 360 degree turn and retreating downstairs. Usagi stood there in the same position trying to hold back the tears filling up her tear ducts.

_**I told you everyone hated you. Now be a good girl and do a weigh in. **_

Without thinking, Usagi's body marched towards the bathroom and onto the scale like a robot and read the numbers slowly forming on her digital scale. Her face twisted in agony when she saw the numbers on the screen. 108.5 pounds (_**88.5 pounds**_). _Oh my gosh, oh my gosh_, she thought with tears burning her eyes and rushing down her cheeks. _I can't believe I gained so much weight. I know I've been eating a lot lately but I didn't know it was this much! I must've looked like a cow all week. _As she fell to her knees and rolled into a fetal position she could hear the voice yelling at her.

_**You haven't been listening to me! I told you I could make you better and you don't even listen to my advice. If you want to be a lard ass all your life then go ahead and be my guest! Why even try to keep you on this diet when you're not even going to stick to it! **_

_I'm trying! I'm trying! It's just so hard with everything going on and it's getting hard to keep up with everything. I haven't even been doing my jogs lately and being Sailor Moon isn't helping much but giving me a larger appetite. _

_**You know what! You can make whatever excuses you want because I'm leaving you! **_

Usagi whimpered in pain on the floor like a dog and gave out harsh sobs. Her heart ached for companionship and the voice was making it all worse. _Please don't leave me! You're the only one I have left and I get so lonely all the time…I'll do whatever you say from now on. Just don't leave me. _The voice made no noise for a few moments and Usagi cried in pain thinking she was truly alone. When she started to sob uncontrollably the voice finally made an appearance.

_**You'll listen to me and not do anything differently, you understand me? 300 calorie diet, no binging or purging. Anymore and you'll be punished with the blade. I'll report your progress at the end of the day and tell you if you deserve a reward or not. You won't need to use those diet pills for a while. **_

_Yes, I understand. I will do everything you say. Just don't leave okay? _The voice chuckled as Usagi picked herself up off of the floor and wiped her puffy red eyes. She smiled knowing that the voice would stay with her.

_**Good job. Now go take a shower for your master. **_

_XXX_

"I'm leaving!" Usagi shouted as she ran down the staircase of her house and past the kitchen without glancing at her mother or anyone for that matter. The past 5 days had been hard and she'd rather avoid her family's scornful looks so early in the morning.

She was at least an hour early which gave her enough time to get a little bit of a workout in. And now it was even better with her mother being so angry with her, she didn't notice whether she ate or not. On her dash to school she could see Mamoru standing at the crossing light and she tried to avoid him with all her might but he just had to call her. "Usak- Usagi!" he yelled out her pet name before he remembered the consequences of doing that last time. She reluctantly turned around and met him at the crossing light and crossed the street.

"What do you want Chiba-senpai?" she inquired with an eye roll following suit. Mamoru sighed and stopped in his stride. Usagi looked back at him after realizing he was no longer walking with her with a frown etched on her features. "Can you at least call me by my first name if we're going to try to make this normal?" he asked. Usagi rolled her eyes and turned around waiting for him to walk with her. "I guess I could try. No promises though." Mamoru shook his head and walked beside her again. He wanted so badly to take her back and tell her why but he just couldn't, not when she was like this.

"Why are you out here so early? School doesn't start for another hour?" Usagi looked him in his eyes with an annoyed tint and sighed. "I could ask the same thing about you, but anyway, I like to get things done before school sometimes. Plus, if I ever was late the consequences for it are much harsher than at a regular school," she replied.

Mamoru smiled at the fact that he was finally able to have a normal conversation with her after such a long time. He realized how much he missed just hearing her voice. "Why are you smiling?" Usagi asked with genuine concern for his mental health. He chuckled and ruffled her hair causing her body to go rigid. She flicked his hand away and hit him. "Don't touch the hair," she stated not looking at him. He laughed and dropped the few strands of hair he picked up from her scalp.

"What made you rejoin the sailor senshi? I mean, I didn't exactly think that you'd be comfortable enough to actually rejoin the team." The blonde played with the hem of her shirt and avoided all eye contact with him. She bit her lip hating the fact that she had to hide her ulterior motives for doing everything that she did to everyone. She knew that if she looked into Mamoru's eyes and answered he'd be able to see right through her like all the other times. She used to love that about him but now it just irritated and scared her to no end.

"Just thought it'd be the right thing to do," she replied timidly. "I may have had a fall out with my team but there are still people out there who need my help. I have to be there to help," she lied. Mamoru drew a breath and crossed his hands behind his head. "Looks like we're here." Usagi looked up to see the building of her school. When did they get here? Mamoru drew a breath and crossed his arms behind his head. Usagi looked up at him with genuine confusion.

"I know you'll probably say no but could we go to the arcade this afternoon, just you and me. It'll be like old times…kinda." Usagi looked up at him and nodded. She walked away ignoring the excited squeal of the man behind her.

**Later At School **

_I'm so sorry, I'm so so sorry!_

Usagi was currently in the bathroom stall of her high school puking up all things that she ate today. She struggled to hold on to the toilet seat as she purged what seemed to be her intestines. _**You stupid little girl! Do you want me to leave?! Because I have no problem doing that! How could you just senselessly eat two apples, a chocolate milk, and half a slice of pizza?! Are you trying to make yourself fat again?! **_

Just when she thought she was through her stomach jerked violently and more bile escaped her throat. _No! Please don't leave me! _

_**Then get up and get a hold of yourself. Take out your blade and slice you stomach and thighs.**_

Usagi once again complied and sliced long marks on her stomach and thighs. She wiped her mouth and stumbled out of the bathroom stall only to come face to face with Rina. Rina gave a worried glance and Usagi tried to glare and hobble past her but vertigo hit her and she tripped over thin air. "Usagi, are you okay? You look really pale and crappy."

"Thanks, that's just what I wanted to hear." Her ex-friend helped her up and walked her over to the sink. "You know that's not what I meant." Usagi laughed darkly and cut her eyes at Rina. _The nerve of this girl. _

"Just like you didn't mean to tell the whole school that I cut," Usagi replied darkly. Rina's mouth gaped open with not being able to find the words to explain herself. Usagi walked past her and smirked still a little bit dizzy. "Yeah, that's not what you meant."

Rina looked down with her bangs covering her eyes and grabbed Usagi's arm. "At least let me take you to the nurse. You're re-"

"Sick. I know, that's what you said last time. I can take care of myself. I don't need your pity," she said leaving a speechless Rina in the bathroom alone crying.

**At The Café**

"Are you okay Usagi? You look a little pale. Why don't you eat something?" Mamoru pushed. Usagi shook her head politely as she pushed the plate back to Mamoru. "Trust me, eating is what got me here in the first place." Mamoru shrugged and stopped pushing it. As he was about to ask her a question, Motoki walked over to their table and smiled in surprise and joy at Usagi.

"Usagi! Long time no see. How have you been? It feels like I haven't seen you in ages." Usagi smiled up at Motoki as she enveloped in a hug standing on her tiptoes. Jealousy bubbled in Mamoru's heart as he watched the scene. He thought about how she shouldn't be doing that to any guy but him. But he'd messed up and there was nothing he could do to repair their relationship so it seemed.

He waited until they finished their little reunion and then waved at Motoki as he went back to work. Mamoru remained silent as anger etched his features visibly. He felt a small hand touch his and looked up to see Usagi. "What's wrong? You look really mad," she said for once sounding and acting like the old Usagi around him. He grabbed her tiny hand and squeezed it just a little so to not hurt her. She blushed a very faint pink and looked up at the frustrated Mamoru. "I'm just being stupid. I'm over here getting mad at you smiling and talking to other guys when I was the one that ruined our relationship. Gosh I'm so stupid." He felt her pull her hand away and shuffle to stand up awkwardly.

"I think I'm going to start heading home now," she said not being able to look him in the eye. He nodded and offered to walk her home resulting in her polite rejection. She started to walk out but then turned and called out to him.

"I think that if we went out again, you wouldn't like the new me very much. You would hate the new Usagi more than the old Usagi." He looked up confused asking what she meant and she just shook her head.

"Don't worry about it."

**Okay, so from this point on the story will start to speed up and the voice will end up making more appearances alongside the sailor senshi. Please R&R!**


	9. Chapter 9

**Hey guys! Sorry for the late update, school started Monday for me and with all my Honors classes, there was no way to update this story during the week. Here's the next installment of Keeping The Secret.**

_**Don't let them fool you. They're trying to make you fat again so that they can be beautiful and you won't just like before. **_

Usagi pushed away her plate of a burger and fries and instead sipped on her water. She was intent on listening to the voice from now on. She realized how much she needed her to stay on track with her diet especially in a time like this. "Are you going to eat that, Usagi?" asked Mako from across the table already slipping the burger in her mouth. Usagi shook her head and winced internally thinking of all the greasy, empty calories her ex-friend was eating.

_That'll never be me, not again. Not with your help AnaMia. _The voice had finally told her its name last night and Usagi was more than thrilled to finally address her as more than the voice. Finally. Someone sensible to talk to. "Hey! That's your third helping of fries Minako-Chan! Why don't you share a bit you pig?! Oink! Oink!" shouted Mako. Usagi shook her head knowing all too well that if Mina had eaten three helpings, than Mako surely had already eaten five.

"Girls!" Ami whisper-yelled. "Sit down. You're making everyone stare at us." And just as Ami said, the entire arcade averted their eyes to the blonde and the brunette holding onto the plate of fries with an iron grip. They both sweat dropped and sat down awkwardly. "I have to go to the bathroom. I'll be back in a minute," Usagi said excusing herself. "Oh, me too. We'll be out in a minute." The blonde could hear the clacking of heels that only belonged to one person in the group.

Rei.

The entire time she'd been staring at her, giving her sideways glances, and the occasional scoff whenever she spoke. Usagi tried to be the bigger and simply ignored her. But damn was it hard. They reached the bathroom and Usagi could hear Rei slam the door shut as she leaned against the counter of the sink. "You know, I've never liked you." Usagi rolled her eyes. _Didn't know that it was a secret_, she mumbled to herself. "Even this whole new transformation you've suddenly made irks me more than the old you. I don't know why everyone was so eager to put you back on the team. We were doing so fine by ourselves." Usagi laughed darkly as she shook the whole bathroom with her thunderous booms. She leaned over and wiped the tears that had fallen from her eyes while laughing and looked up glaring at Rei.

"I remember when there was a time when I used to care what you thought about me Rei. But now that I've had time apart from you and your foolishness, I've realized that only one thing could be fueling your 'hatred.'" she said while making air quotations. Rei lifted her brow in confusion. "And what would that be?"

"Jealousy."

Rei scoffed and started to retort back. "Why would I be j-"

"Let's see," Usagi said cutting her off. "I was the leader of the group, I got into the school that you wanted to get into, and the best part is I stole your boyfriend," the blonde replied with a smirk. Rei's eyes filled over with pure fury as she balled up her fists and her knuckles turned white. Usagi laughed and touched herself up in the mirror. "Looks like I struck a nerve. Don't worry sweetie, I've always known that's why. There was no way that you could've made it more obvious."

Rei turned with tears forming in her eyes as she faced the mirror. "Shut up! You know he never liked you! That's why he dumped you so harshly." Usagi smiled and looked the angry brunette straight in the eye. "Well, the fact of the matter is that he's the one chasing me now, getting jealous over other guys that I hang out with and…oh, that's right. He's never even asked you out on a date. You're just one of his booty calls. Girls like you are always so delusional about those kind of relationships."

Rei was full blown sobbing now as she took in every single word coming from Usagi's mouth. She didn't want to believe that it was true, but what other choice did she have? Mamoru had never been as caring to her as he was to Usagi. She was right, she was just a booty call. She looked up with puffy red eyes and looked to see Usagi smirking at her.

_Good_, she thought. _Now she knows exactly how I felt everyday that I had to listen to her ridicule me. _

"You've changed Usagi…and I think it's for the worst." Usagi scoffed and rolled her eyes. "And I can see that you haven't." Usagi pulled out a few pieces of paper towels from the dispenser and threw them at Rei's face.

"Now clean yourself up and make yourself look decent. You look like a hot mess."

_XXX_

Ikuko was folding clothes for her family while thinking to herself about why in the world her daughter would resort to something like this. She knew that she could always talk to her about things, about anything really. So why she would resort to something only losers do she just couldn't begin to understand. She didn't hate Usagi, but she just needed time to think about why she'd do something like that to her own body.

Ikuko walked upstairs to Usagi's bedroom and took her hamper of dirty clothes out and began sorting them. To her shock, when she lifted up a pair of Usagi's panties, she could see straight lines of blood on the front of it on multiple pairs of underwear. Ikuko brought out one pair to her husband with pure anger exuding out of her pores. "Looks like she found a new place to hide them." Kenji looked shocked and a bit uncomfortable holding his daughter's underwear until he realized what his wife was pointing out.

Usagi was cutting. Again.

Shingo sat beside him on the couch watching television and looked over at his now angry father. He shook his head knowing it could only be about something stupid that Usagi was doing. ChibiUsa sat on the floor playing with her dolls contently not having a care about what they were talking about. She wouldn't understand anything that they were talking about anyway and she was not trying to get yelled at by Usagi. She cringed just thinking about it.

And speaking of the devil, Usagi opened the front door getting three angry glares shot at her. She winced and made her best effort to lighten the mood of the room. "Hello everyone, how was your day?" When no one answered, she coughed and shifted a little on her feet due to the awkwardness.

"What's going on here?"

Ikuko told ChibiUsa to go upstairs and play while Kenji stared hard at his daughter. "I don't know Usagi. Why don't you enlighten us?" Usagi shrugged nervously and tried to make her way past the family room when her mother quickly blocked her pathway. "Well, I got an A on my math and science test today," she replied after stepping back from her mother's body. "And my GPA is now 5.6, so I think everything is going just fine right about now." Kenji held up her soiled underwear angrily and shook them in her face as he stood up to full height.

"Then what about this?! What can you do to explain this to me?! I thought you told me that you quit!" Usagi shook her head as tears formed in her eyes and backed up into the wall as she tried to form words that would never come in time. "I-I-"

"I wish I had a better sister," Shingo remarked as he shot Usagi a death glare and walked up the stairs to his room shaking his head. Usagi could hear her heart stop in her chest as a metaphorical dagger pierced her heart.

_No, I'm not hurt. He's said it so many times before I should be used to it…but he never looked at me that way when he said it before. _

Usagi couldn't hear her parents yelling profanities and other hurtful things at her. Her heart was leaving her body and it felt like she was running in sand as she walked up the stairs to her room feeling like she weighed a ton. She placed her book bag on her bed and teetered over to her toilet bowl without instruction from AnaMia and puked several times before blood appeared in her bile. After cleaning herself up, she grabbed the bottle of diet pills and took two before going to bed and forgetting to do her homework.

**Okay, how was that? Next chapter will be another encounter with a sailor scout and more insight on the emotions of the other characters. Please R&R!**


	10. Chapter 10

**Hello everyone! I made this chapter in advance so that it wouldn't be late. I hope you enjoy the new installment of Keeping The Secret.**

The bell had just rung signaling to everyone that the day was over at Ami's high school. Like the persistent girl she was, she stayed behind a little to catch up on everything with her teachers to make sure that her grades were still intact and that they remained that way. Once she walked out of her school, she could see a flash of blonde hair run past her and onto the other side of the street. She called out to the figure and watched her turn around to reveal Usagi. She'd been meaning to talk to her for awhile now about reconciling with her and how she should've stood up for her when Rei said those things to her. That's what real friends would do for each other.

"Hey," Ami greeted breathlessly after running across the street to her blonde friend. Usagi nodded with a confused smile and was about to start running again until Ami held onto her arm. "Wait! I wanted to talk to you." Usagi's eyes widened in shock for a minute and then narrowed in suspicion. Ami started walking and gestured for Usagi to come along with her. "I know that things have been a little rough around the edges lately and it may still seem a bit weird and awkward for us to be together like we were before, but I just wanted to say that I'm sorry for not being a true friend when I was supposed to. I should've stood up for you when Rei said those things. She was totally out of line and now I realize that."

She could hear Usagi's footsteps stop and a scoff resound behind her. "Now? You mean now you realize that Rei is a cold-hearted bitch! After all this time you've worked alongside her you've just now realized it?"

Ami's eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "I've always known that Rei came off as a bit mean-spirited but I thought it was just a façade that she put on. I know she doesn't mean it when she says things to you." Usagi's blue eyes bugged out in disbelief. _This girl is just as delusional as the rest of them. _"I wonder how you'd feel if someone was constantly bagging on you about everything you did every second of the day. I just wonder sometimes what you all would have done in my shoes. You say that you're my friend, but you couldn't even come to my defense. No wonder you've never had any friends before you know-it-all snob."

Ami's eyes widened and started to tear up and her bottom lip trembled. This couldn't be Usagi talking to her. Not the loving girl that had gone out of her way to befriend the smartest girl in school and find out her true personality. She couldn't be real. Usagi rolled her eyes at Ami's crying.

_Oh my gosh, now everyone wants to become emotional and want sympathy all of a sudden. Not this time. Not anymore. _

"Come to think of it, if I hadn't come along you'd still be friendless and working your whole life towards becoming an old maid. And how do you repay me? By letting that senile bitch talk about me right to my face and standing there agreeing with her. How can you say that you're my friend after that?" In response, Usagi received a lot of sputtering and sniffling as Ami tried to form her words that always seemed to come quickly to her, but just not now. Usagi shook her head and smiled wickedly forming an idea.

"If you're such a friend, then when is my birthday?" Ami looked up at Usagi speechless. She couldn't even remember her first friend's birthday. Usagi shook her head disapprovingly knowing that would be the answer she'd get. "I'll ask an easier question. What was the evolution of Asian eyes?" Ami sniffled and looked up ready to answer Usagi's question.

"Because of harsh winds and cold climates, Asians squinted their eyes which kept their-" Usagi put her hand up to stop her and then scoffed and shook her head. "Yeah, I know who your real friends are. Those damn books that you know everything about but the real people that you can't even remember the birthdays of stand off to the sideline. We were never friends Ami. I've always known it, but now I'm sure of it. I'll see you on the battlefield."

Usagi continued her jog and left a sobbing Ami at the crosswalk.

_XXX_

102.3 pounds (_**82.3 pounds**_).

Usagi gave a small, twisted smile as she looked at the numbers flashing across her scale. _I'm so close to perfection, I can almost taste it. _Usagi exited her bathroom only to find Luna holding her bottle of diet pills in her mouth. "What's the meaning of this Usagi-Chan?" Usagi simply rolled her eyes and snatched it away from the cat's mouth.

"Something that's none of your business. Why are you even here?" Luna looked up at the blonde heroine and twitched her eyebrows in irritation. How could this girl be so stupid? "It is my business when someone on my team is using dangerous products to lose weight. You know diet pills aren't good for you, right? You won't be able to perform well with the team if-"

"Well according to you I've never performed with the team well enough! I've never been good enough for any of you, have I?! You guys voted me off the team together and had no concern for my feelings at all. So you know what? You can shove that fake concern up your cruel, vindictive, and bossy ass and leave me the hell alone!" Luna recoiled in fear and wept in the corner of Usagi's room. Usagi rolled her eyes again and logged onto her account for a ProAna site. She was shocked to see the users conversations.

_**Yeah, I heard she died a few weeks ago. That's why she hasn't been on lately.**_

_**Aw, that's so sad.**_

_**Hmmm, well I know that I won't ever let it get that bad. I can start eating whenever I want. Just not now.**_

_**Stfu you 40 pound weakling.**_

_**Lol**_

_**Rofl**_

Usagi logged off of her computer letting the gravity of the topic that they were discussing hit her. Someone just died from doing the same thing that she was doing. All of the others made light of the serious situation, but why wasn't she? Did that mean that she was going to die too? Just when she was getting worried AnaMia reassured her like she always did.

_**She wasn't strong enough to handle it, that's why she died. If you listen to me and cooperate you'll be perfect in no time.**_

**Okay, how'd you like it? Next chapter will be a mix of a confrontation between Makoto and ChibiUsa. Please R&R!**


	11. Chapter 11

**Hey you guys! So as you can see, since school started there will be slower and fewer updates. But stick around, there will be more to come. Here's the next installment of Keeping The Secret.**

_Failure. You are a failure. _

Usagi was chiding herself incessantly today. She was still standing on the scale with a bittersweet mindset. Yes, she'd lost weight, but it just never seemed to be able to satisfy her lately. The digital red letters flashed a giant, mocking 100 pounds (_**80 pounds**_).

_I am worthless and a failure. I know mother and father must have been disappointed after having me. The Disappointing Child. I wonder why they never thought to abort the monstrosity of a child I am._

She walked out of her room and scanned her body in the full-length mirror. Shingo was on his way to sneak into Usagi's room to pull a prank on her, but just as he was about to open the door he could see Usagi's skeletal frame. With the door held slightly ajar, he could see the outlines of ribs, her spine, and her pelvis making her look gaunt and scary.

All previous hatred that he held for his sister was put on hold as he watched her in her underwear picking at nonexistent folds of fat. He could see her searching for something in her dresser drawer and when she pulled it out, his hatred for her returned and boiled over. The shiny, reflective metal of the blade glimmered in the moonlight as she slashed marks over her frail body. He couldn't understand why she'd do something like that to herself and his confusion led him to lash out on her all the time.

He slammed her door closed letting her know that he saw what she was doing and walked to his room. He plopped himself down on his bed and stared up at his ceiling. His face distorted in anger as he thought about his sister's irregular behavior. He wanted to know when all of this started and how he could stop it. He just wanted his sister back.

_XXX_

The sailors were fighting another enemy…well, more likely Usagi was fighting the enemy alone as the scouts looked on. ChibiUsa was standing in the same position as the last battle they'd had: hopeless and scared. When Usagi destroyed the monster, she made her way over to ChibiUsa and stared down at her with scornful eyes.

"If you're just going to get in the way every time we fight, then you should just stay home. It's not like we need you to be here if you're not going to fight." The sailors and Tuxedo Mask stood shocked and frozen in place. They knew that Usagi had changed, but she'd never lashed out on anyone before. Especially not ChibiUsa. Or so they thought. ChibiUsa lowered her head with her bangs covering her eyes and her shoulders shook terribly with sobs as Mamoru, Rei, Ami, and Minako came over to comfort her.

The frail blonde walked away from the battle still in her Sailor Moon transformation. She looked at her reflection in one of the store windows and examined herself. She had the same odango-styled hair that she had before but she hated how chubby she looked in her uniform. The scars weren't visible during transformation and she was grateful for that, but did she have to revert back to her old, jiggly body?

She de-transformed and smiled at her new reflection of her ratty, now short shoulder-length hair and stick thin frame. She adjusted her clothes and turned to the side scrutinizing herself once again. _There's still a lot that I have to work on, but it'll be alright for now. _As she smiled at her reflection, she felt Makoto's strong hands on her shoulder and jerk her around to face her. "Usagi, what the heck was that? Why did you yell at ChibiUsa?" Usagi scrunched her face up in disgust. _Did this girl really just ask me that?_

"First off, I didn't yell at her, I simply reprimanded her. Second, if she's not going to aid the team than she shouldn't be there hindering and putting others at risk." Makoto's eyes bugged out in shock and anger. Who was this girl and what has she done with the real Usagi? "What do you expect Usagi? She's too young to know how to actually fight off the monsters with us and she tries to help in the best way she can." Usagi scoffed and shook her head. "So it's ok if she screws up, but I get the boot for actually helping you guys?" Makoto tried to form an answer with her mouth agape and ended up looking like a fish gasping for water. Usagi smirked, she had her just where she wanted her.

"Sounds like a lot of unfairness in these votes. Sometimes I fear that there is no hopes for politics when there are policies like these involved." Mako puffed out her cheeks and stood up to full height. "Usagi, I know you're still a bit bitter about the whole situation, but we realized that we made a mistake and now you're back on the team with us again. Isn't that enough?" Usagi scowled at the girl.

_Nothing will ever be enough to amount to my suffering. No matter what you do it will never repair these wounds that I have. _

"You think what you guys did was enough? You honestly think it was enough?" Usagi asked rhetorically.

"This will never be enough. I befriended you, I made friends with a supposedly delinquent girl and took the time to find out about the real her. I did that when no else would. The girl that towered over everyone and sent them running in fear so much that she was never able to make any friends before me! Me! That was all me! I went out of my goddamn way to learn and discover things about you that no one would have given you the time of day for! And you tell me that this is enough!"

Makoto's face paled and she looked down in embarrassment at the truth of Usagi's words. It was true, she'd went out of her way to become her friend and she couldn't even think to come to her defense when someone said those nasty things about her. Usagi rolled her eyes and shook her head. _This is what I get for being so damn friendly. _

"You know what, if you honestly think that was enough, then it shows that you never had any true intention of being my friend. You used me." Makoto tried to reach out for Usagi's arm as she blinded herself with the tears welling in her eyes. "Wait, Usagi I'm so-"

"Save it!" Usagi yelled as she threw her hand up in Makoto's face. "You're just as annoying as the rest of them. Go have fun with you real friends you fucking Amazon!" Usagi walked away as Makoto's eyes widened in shock and she fell to her knees on the pavement trying to stop the tears from falling.

_XXX_

Everyone, excluding Usagi, sat at the kitchen table in silence as they all ate their food. ChibiUsa looked down and scraped at the food on her plate absentmindedly. She couldn't fathom the amount of things that Usagi was going through alone, but did she have to be so harsh? It seemed like she just couldn't catch a break from the blonde lately and it was getting progressively worse with every encounter.

"ChibiUsa, what's wrong? Aren't you hungry?" Ikuko looked down at ChibiUsa in concern and she smiled up at her masking her grief. "I'm ok. I'm just not that hungry. May I be excused?" Ikuko shook her head and gathered ChibiUsa's plate and began to wash the dishes. The pink-haired grade-schooler made her way up the steps only to have to pass by Usagi's slightly ajar door. She was tempted to go inside when Shingo came up behind her and shook his head warning her.

"It's better if you stay away from that freak show. You might just catch her crazy." ChibiUsa made her way into Usagi's room anyway, ignoring the hushed protests of Shingo. Usagi saw her and instantly rolled her eyes and faced her math book. ChibiUsa gathered all of her courage and boldly walked up to Usagi and asked her the question that had been lingering on her mind for two years now. "Usagi-Chan, why don't you like me?"

Usagi faced the pink-haired with scorn and disgust and smiled when she saw her jump in fright. "Because you're annoying, ugly, stupid, and fat. Does that answer your question for you?" ChibiUsa stood frozen in place until Usagi ushered her out of her room and slammed the door behind her.

She walked to her room and pulled up her shirt examining her stomach. She wasn't fat was she? The school had just done a physical on everyone and said she was target weight for her age. She always brought home decent grades, had lots of friends, and boys always talked to her. But was she really all the things that Usagi said?

**Hope you like this chapter. Please let me know what you thought about it. Please R&R!**


	12. Chapter 12

**Hello everybody! Sorry for the late update. I meant to update earlier, but with all this schoolwork my schedule's pretty unpredictable. Please enjoy this new installment of Keeping The Secret!**

_I'm starving_.

_**No you're not, you just think you are. After eating breakfast this morning you should be ashamed of yourself. Two slices of toast with jelly and a glass of orange juice? You want me to go away, don't you?**_

Usagi ignored AnaMia and kept doing her laps while the sound of her shrinking stomach pounded against her eardrums. She was in her PE class and just trying to remain under the radar as the eyes of judgment and scorn scanned the back of her failing body. Her day had not gotten off to a good start at all. Her mother had suddenly taken a concern to her eating habits and made her eat breakfast this morning. She hated to do it, but she had to eat, her mother was becoming suspicious. And to make matters worse, Minako just had to show up with her stupid idea of a 'gift'. She could remember this morning clearly and with bitter resentment for the stupid blonde girl.

"_Usagi-Chan! Usagi-Chan!" she yelled waving her arms around frantically as if Usagi couldn't see her clearly. Usagi stopped and turned with a heavy sigh. She really didn't want to deal with this right now. She was focused on her schedule this afternoon for burning off the calories her mother forced her to consume this morning. _

"_Yes, Minako-san?" As much as Usagi hated everyone at the moment, she was taught to always be cordial, even in the face of the devil reincarnates themselves. Minako was out of breath and hunched over onto her knees with sweat beads dripping from her forehead. She couldn't help but think that that was the same position she was in the day they all decided to leave her. Usagi scowled inwardly at her former friend. _

_Minako finally looked up and showed off her pearly white teeth. Usagi was instantly filled with hate as she looked down at her thinking of how effortlessly perfect she'd always been. Usagi wiggled her tongue around her mouth and felt her soft, fragile teeth. She'd been losing her enamel since she'd started throwing up and her smile was not something that she was proud of anymore. "I-I have a gift for you," Minako said still out of breath. She pulled a small wrapped box out of her skirt pocket and placed in Usagi's cold hands. She opened it only to reveal something that only made her want to purge a hundred times and exercise for a week straight. _

_Big hoop earrings. _

_Earrings with the portly chibi image of Sailor Moon engraved in it. Tears filled her eyes as she tried to hold her resolve. Minako became worried as a few moments of silence passed without Usagi acknowledging her gift. "Uh, Usagi? Is everything alright?" Minako tried to reach out to touch Usagi's shoulder, but Usagi jerked herself away from her. When she looked up, Minako could see that she was on the verge of tears. "I am so tired of this," Usagi whispered. Minako furrowed her eyebrows in confusion and tried to reach out to usage again only to produce the same result. _

"_I am so tired of everyone's shit!" Minako flinched unused to Usagi's foul language. Swearing just didn't seem like something her friend would do. "Usagi, what's going on? Why are you acting like this?" _

"_Why are you acting like this? Like you're my friend or something? You ask me a question like that after giving me a shitty gift like this?! Why can't you just call me fat to my face like Rei did? At least I'll have clarity on the significance of this 'gift'?" Usagi screamed while making air quotations. _

_They were causing a scene and everyone was staring at them from as far as about two blocks down. Minako reached out for Usagi's hand successfully this time and felt her ice cold hands as Usagi tried to jerk away violently. She raised the delusional blonde girl's hands to her face to reveal blue fingertips. Just what the hell was going on? "Usagi! Please calm down! I didn't mean anything by the gift." _

"_You're just mad because I took the spotlight away from you when I became Sailor Moon! Now you're trying to sabotage me because no one is talking about Sailor V anymore. We are not friends so stop standing here acting like we are! I hate you Minako!" _

_Minako scanned Usagi's frail body for the first time noticing how skinny she was. The outline of her bones protruding more than ever and her school uniform looking as if it was about to slide right off of her. Her body was so small, it looked like she would disintegrate at the slightest touch. There were dark circles under her eyes, her cheek bones sunken in, dull hair, and almost nonexistent breasts really stood out to her now. She covered her mouth as tears filled her eyes. What had she done to her friend? _

"_Usagi! Please listen to me, you're sick and you need help immediately. I just want to-" _

"_You just want to make my life harder like always. Goodbye Minako."_

Usagi was still fuming with anger with just remembering the events that took place. And avoiding Rina seemed to be extremely hard today. She could see Rina out of the corner of her eye looking back at her and trying to catch her attention, but she pushed forward trying to avoid any contact with her. Tsk, she thinks I'll take her back just like that? The hell I am. Usagi ran past her former friend feeling more empowered than she had ever felt in her life, even when she was Sailor Moon. Just as she was starting to feel accomplished, the world seemed to be moving slower and her vision was fading. Black dots filled her field of vision and her legs felt like jelly as they collapsed under her. All she could hear was the sound of the coach blowing his whistle and someone desperately calling her name.

_XXX_

Usagi woke up in the infirmary with Rina sitting right beside her bed. She could hear the voices of her teachers gathered together gossiping. When she listened closely she could hear them gossiping about her. "It looks like she fainted from dehydration and exhaustion." She could hear them all laughing at the nurse's statement and she couldn't understand why.

"Dehydration? Please, it's more like lack of blood supply. With all the rumors about cutting that I've heard about her, it wouldn't surprise me if that was what it really was." There was another chorus of laughter as Usagi's body shook with quiet sobs. The blonde could feel a hand massaging her skeletal back and looked up to see Rina giving her a sympathetic look. Usagi jerked away from her and staggered over to the curtain. "I don't need your pity," she said coldly.

As she exited through the curtains, all the teachers gathered in the infirmary went quiet and you could almost hear a pin drop. Usagi grabbed her belongings from a nearby chair and made her way towards the exit of the school building. She didn't care if she was caught on the school cameras skipping or the repercussions of it. All she felt like doing was finding a quiet, secluded area where she could cut and starve away her feelings even more.

**As you can see the storyline is getting darker and darker as it goes on. Expect crazy measures to be taken in the next chapters. Please R&R!**


	13. Chapter 13

**Hey everybody! Not much time to talk. Please enjoy the new installment of Keeping The Secret!**

Usagi was seated on one of the various wooden benches in the park. She was trying as hard as she could to keep her arms steady while the rest of her body moved so her shirt wouldn't rub against her fresh cuts. Finally being able to steady herself on the bench, she thought of all the trouble she'd be in later.

_They're all already mad at me about other things that I do or did so I don't really care. It's not like they actually care about me anyway._ Usagi sighed and shrugged her shoulders. _There's just no pleasing anyone lately. I'm a failure. I've always been and always will be._ Tears pricked at her eyes as she tried to swallow away the sobs racking up at the back of her throat. She would not cry, she would show them all that she was stronger than she'd ever been.

Just as she felt an ocean of tears coming on, someone tapped her shoulder. She looked up to see none other than Mamoru. He looked a bit pissed and confused but Usagi disregarded that and offered him a seat. He shook his head and frowned at her. "Why are you doing out of school? It's not even lunchtime yet…Are you skipping school?" he asked with his eyebrow raising slightly at the end. Usagi gulped and turned the other way. She was skipping, he just didn't need to know why.

"I just needed some fresh air is all." He shook his head and tsk-ed at her. "So you play hooky and talk shit about your friends?" Usagi stood up ready to pounce on him as she scowled at him. "First of all, those girls are not my damn friends. They talked shit about me to my face, called me names on multiple occasions, and kicked me out the damn sailor senshi! What did you expect me to do with them when I came back?! Sing kumbaya and act like this fucking situation never happened?!"

Mamoru flinched at Usagi's use of profanity. He'd never heard her talk like this, he must've struck a nerve. But he was too angry to care about making her upset, she was being a total bitch for no reason. "That happened over two years ago Usagi! They obviously felt bad about the things that they did and tried to apologize and make it up to you! Instead of just accepting it like a normal person would, you just had to be a complete bitch about it. About everything lately!"

Usagi stood frozen and she paled as time seemed to slow down. It was happening again and the feelings were way worse than the first time he'd said something like this to her. "What did you just call me?" she asked not being able to look him in the face.

"A bitch. A cold-hearted, senile, back-stabbing bitch. I don't even know why they accepted you back on the team again anyway. You're still just as lazy and useless as before. To think I tried to get back together with you. Rei was right all along. Have a happy life with no friends you stupid bitch." He started to walk off but Usagi caught him just in time to ask him a question.

"Is that why you left me in the first place?" He turned and scowled before brushing her hand off his shoulder. "You were fucking Rei behind my back, weren't you Mamoru?! Well, you know what, fuck you Mamoru! Don't you ever talk to me again you twisted bastard! I hate you!"

But Mamoru had already walked off. She stood in the park alone by herself again and crashed down to her knees crying.

_**I told you everyone hated you. Now that they've left you, you'll have more time to spend with me. **_

_XXX_

ChibiUsa stood next to Ikuko watching her prepare cookies and other delicious snacks that were in the oven. "Can I have a chocolate chip cookie, please?" Ikuko nodded her head and smiled as she carefully placed the pans onto the counter and handed the child a cookie. "Ok, but just a few, I made those for Usagi's afternoon snack."

ChibiUsa chewed on her cookie watching Ikuko slaving over the stove and oven for her family. She thought of how much hard work that it must be to be a mother. "I thought that you and Kenji and Shingo didn't like Usagi-Chan." Ikuko looked down at the small pink-haired child in bewilderment. Why would she ever think that? "I may not like some of the things that Usagi does, but it doesn't mean that I don't love her all the same. No matter what, every child deserves love and to be loved."

Ikuko patted ChibiUsa's head like a dog and smiled. ChibiUsa smiled up at Ikuko and hugged her leg as she wondered where her own mother was. Just as the timer went off on the oven, the front door opened revealing a drenched, sullen Usagi. Ikuko turned around and gasped at the sight of her daughter.

"Usagi, I thought I reminded you take your umbrella this morning." Usagi shrugged and continued her mount up the stairs. She could care less about being rained on. She'd lost everything because she was still angry, still wanted to fit in and be accepted, and still desired to be loved and understood. She just wanted to be perfect for everyone and she couldn't even do that. _I'm such a screw-up!_ She could hear her mother calling her from downstairs about a snack. She politely declined the offer and locked herself in her room and trapped herself in her own world of depressing thoughts and music.

**Okay, hope you like the chapter. This is the last chapter before everyone begins to find out about her condition and who the moon princess is. R&R!**


	14. Chapter 14

**Yeeeeessss! The chapter I've been dying to write all along. Warning: Some of you may hate me after this update. Please enjoy this new installment of Keeping The Secret.**

**3 Months Later**

No friends. No family. No scouts. No battles. No more Mamoru.

Usagi sat in her bed curled up in fetal position eating herself to an oblivion and listening to angsty music. She was binging. Again. Candy, chips, soda, cupcakes, cookies, and anything else you could name had been stuffed down her throat in the past ten minutes. The bad thing about it was that she didn't even care anymore. These past few months had been rougher than usual. Her hair was duller and thinner before, it could barely reach the nape of her neck. She'd been getting sick more easily too. Even the slightest wind would give her a runny nose. Her fingers were so blue that she had to wear gloves and nail polish just to mask it. She barely ever had enough energy to complete her workouts and she'd get massive headaches that always left her feeling delirious. The cutting was endless just like her pain. When her mother and father realized that she just wasn't going to stop, they gave up on her completely.

_A lost cause. _

Shingo had ceased to exist in Usagi's world, whenever she did see him he either scowled at her, flipped her off, or used really profound language about her idiotic past times. Usagi sighed as she shoved another handful of chips into her mouth.

_Even ChibiUsa has given up on me. _ChibiUsa had given up all hope on rekindling whatever it was that she and Usagi had. But Usagi couldn't blame her, she'd made it evident that she wanted nothing to do with the child. And that's just what happened. The blonde now understood the saying "Be careful what you wish for."

But her troubles hadn't stopped there. Motoki had obviously gotten wind of what happened between everyone and made it blatantly obvious that he did **not** want to talk to her. Usagi caught on fairly quickly and gathered her things to leave. She hadn't been to the Crown since.

School never got better. Someone came up with the 'great' idea to throw razor blades at her as she walked up and down the corridors to her classes. When the razors did manage to slice her just a bit and the blood oozed from her skin, a few geniuses remarked, "You like that don't you?" The teachers eventually stopped them and called Usagi in to identify the suspects to be suspended, but Usagi politely declined their offer and scurried back to her classroom. She did not need any more drama in her life than she already had in her life.

Rina kept nagging her and trying to apologize, but Usagi just ignored her and moved on. She'd already forgiven her, she just didn't want to be tricked again. It was like her father always said. All she needed was her intelligence and books and she'd get along just fine.

Usagi ate the last of her binge food and threw all of the wrappers in the garbage. Like clockwork, she locked herself in her bathroom, kneeled over the toilet and stuck her fingers down her throat. She purged a few more times before she carefully walked over to her scale. She closed her eyes as she waited for the numbers to calculate. When she opened her eyes she burst into tears. 92 pounds (_**72 pounds**_).

_**That's not good enough! You're still fat. FAT! FAT! FAT! Every time you look in the mirror you will see a fat girl because you are FAT, FAT, and FAT! A big fat lard ass! **_

Usagi bawled her eyes out as AnaMia screamed insulting things to her in her mind. She was tired of being fat. Tired of being ridiculed. Tired of being pushed around. Tired of acting like she was okay. Tired of being something she was not. Tired that every time she looked in the mirror, she could never be the beautiful girl that she wanted to be. Through the blur of her tears, she could see her bottle of diet pills sticking out of her mattress. She promised she wouldn't use them again, but it looked like she'd have to.

_**You can use those. Soon you'll be light as a feather. You'll be weightless. **_

Usagi listened intently. AnaMia had never agreed with her on anything she'd done before.

_How do I do that? _

_**Take the whole bottle. All of your pain will go away. **_

Usage took the pills one by one with a glass of water by her side. She wanted to still have a choice even in the end to stop and rethink in between each one as her life slipped away. When she finished the entire bottle, she held it in her hand and fell asleep.

**At Dinner Time**

All was quiet in the Tsukino household. A little too quiet. Everyone was seated at the dinner table except Usagi.

"Where's Usagi?" Kenji asked.

"Probably in her room doing something stupid," Shingo remarked. Ikuko gave her son a stern look and then excused herself to go find Usagi. She knocked on Usagi's door only for it to open with an eerie creek. She thought it was weird for her daughter's room door to be unlocked since she always complained about her privacy, but she continued in side to wake her from her "sleep". She shook her and called out her name to wake up.

"Wake up Usagi, its dinner time." She shook her a few more times before finally starting to realize that maybe Usagi wasn't sleeping after all. She held Usagi's lifeless body in her arms and felt how cold her skin was. She pressed her ear to her chest and paled.

There was no heartbeat.

She took a quick survey of the room and saw the pill bottle that now rolled on the floor. She picked it up only to see the emptiness of the plastic bottle. Ikuko let out a bloodcurdling scream. She couldn't remember when her husband walked in or when he called the paramedics. She wouldn't even look at them as they carried her daughter's body. When the house was finally empty and everything was quiet, she climbed into her daughter's bed and wept.

_XXX_

He never thought it would end up like this. He just thought Usagi was being stupid like she usually was. But it seemed like she was battling her own demons. No one ever thought that poor, innocent, and naïve Usagi would ever be contemplating suicide.

Shingo could remember the events of earlier vividly. When he saw his sister's body being loaded onto the gurney, he puked on the spot. Kenji made him go back inside the house to rest and he and ChibiUsa went instead.

He was currently in his room lying on his bed in his room staring up at the ceiling. His eyes were bloodshot red. He'd been crying ever since the paramedics left. He could hear his mother's cries faintly in the next room, Usagi's.

_She can't be dead_, he thought. _She just can't be. Not before I can tell her I'm sorry. Not before she hears me tell her that I Iove her and it's not her time to go. Please don't die Usagi. Please._

Shingo walked out of his room and laid on the bed beside his mother crying silently along with her as he rubbed her back in soothing circles. But he knew that nothing but a miracle would heal his mother's heart.

**Not much to say but the fact that I updated super early! Please R&R!**


	15. Chapter 15

**Hey guys! This chapter is basically telling the actual Sailor Moon story with a surprise twist in the end. Here is the new installment of Keeping The Secret.**

The scouts and Mamoru were all gathered at the shrine. No one was speaking as they finished their homework. All of a sudden, a sharp pain shot through their bodies and they collapsed to the floor screaming in pain.

"Everybody? What's going on?"

Luna's question fell on deaf ears as their bodies were transported to another world. They woke up in a daze. They were all clad in their uniforms and their bodies were still aching. In front of them was a large white castle with rows of lights leading up to the steps. Debris and dead bodies filled the pathway as they walked up to the grand castle. When they finally entered, they came across a room and being curious opened it. Inside, there was a box with an illuminated figure held inside. Walking closer, their mouths almost dropped to the floor. They couldn't even begin to believe what they saw in front of them. "Oh my gosh," Luna gasped, "Usagi is the moon princess."

Still in shock, they continued to stare and touch the crystal casing the moon princess had trapped herself in. None of them noticed a holographic version of Mamoru walk up to them. "I see that you have found Princess Serenity." Everyone looked up confused and stared from Tuxedo Mask to his holograph. Ami reached her hand out to touch him and marveled at the sight as her hand went straight through him. "This is incredible. How is this possible?" The holographic Mamoru laughed and shrugged her question off. There would be no time to explain menial stuff like that.

"You are all here for a reason." Mamoru was starting to get scared. Why was Usagi trapped inside of this encasing? What was going on? Was she okay? "Why are we here? Why is Usagi inside of this crystal? How are you here?" His holograph answered him with great patience and understanding. "I am Prince Endymion of the Earth Kingdom. You are my reincarnate made by the moon queen, Queen Serenity after I died in battle. This is her daughter, Princess Serenity," he said pointing to the sleeping Usagi in the crystal casing. "You are here because history is repeating itself."

They all looked on in confusion. Just what did this "_Prince Endymion_" mean history was repeating itself. "What do you mean?" Mamoru asked finally finding his confidence. The sailors stood still in shock and trying to process what this all meant. "I mean, that after I was killed in battle by Queen Beryl, Princess Serenity committed suicide out of her own grief. Queen Serenity created you and Usagi in hopes that you guys would be happier and safer now. But sadly, it has happened all over again. Usagi attempted suicide a few days ago. It is believed that she won't make it."

Rei was the first one to start crying. She couldn't believe it. Even after all of the insults she'd taken from everybody over the years, no one would have ever thought that the sweet, bubbly Usagi would ever even think of suicide. Rei cried and silently blamed herself for it. Minako, Ami, and Makoto all cried along with her and thought of their disloyalty to their princess and friend. Now she was gone. Mamoru stood emotionless. This holograph just had to be lying. There was no way Usagi could be dead, she'd never just give up like that. He thought back to the last time he'd seen her, that was not the best memory he'd had of her and he was sure that it had also lead to this devastating event.

Prince Endymion carried on in silence as he watched their actions carefully. He hoped that they would be able to restore Crystal Tokyo and save Serenity and his child. Mamoru was still in shock, but he wouldn't let his body show it. He was going to get Usagi back, whether she wanted to come back or not. But he was still confused. Where did all those weird dreams come from and what did they mean?

"I've been having these weird dreams for a while now. They keep showing me that Usagi dies if I stay with her. But now she's dead without even being near me. Where did they come from?" Neo-Prince Endymion nodded and gestured to himself. "I sent you those dreams with the little energy I had to protect you, the kingdom, and the others. We need your help if we are to restore Crystal Tokyo." Rei finally wiped her tears and found the courage to speak. She would not let Usagi die. Everyone's future depended on it. And she would not let her friend down again. "How do we save the Kingdom?"

"You must prevent Usagi's death in the human world. There are demons working in her mind slowly eating her away. If you are able to defeat them, then all will return to peace." The sailors shook their heads in agreement as the Neo-Prince Endymion transported their bodies to the gutters of Usagi's mind.

_XXX_

Usagi woke up in a very dark, desolate place. She could tell that she wasn't on earth, but she could also tell that she wasn't dead either. Something else was amidst, she could feel it within her bones. As she took in her minimal surroundings a woman with silver pigtails that would have once matched Usagi's and blue eyes appeared before her. She wore a long white dress with a bow over her bust and a moon crescent between the bangs covering her forehead. Usagi stared at her beauty in awe.

_I bet she never had to starve herself to become beautiful. _

The beautiful woman floated down towards her casting a white glow over the room. Usagi stood and bowed unconsciously. Her beauty resembled that of a royal and she bowed out of respect. "It has happened again my young one." Usagi furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. What did she mean?

"What do you mean?" The elegant woman chuckled at the blonde's antics and lowered herself to Usagi's level. "I thought I was protecting you by sending you to the present, but I seems like it's inevitable to keep you away from the pain of the world." The elegant woman stroked Usagi's poor short hair. Her long pigtails had long gone away. Usagi let this woman touch her. She didn't know why, but she felt at home with her, like things were meant to be like this.

"I'm sorry," Usagi said, "Do I know you from somewhere?" The woman chuckled and introduced herself. "I am the late Moon queen, Queen Serenity. You are my daughter and the future Moon queen, Princess Serenity." Usagi covered her mouth and gasped. All this time they'd spent looking for the Moon princess and Usagi had been the one all this time.

"I-I'm the Moon princess?"

"Yes, yes you are," the late Queen Serenity replied with a heavy sigh. "And nothing I have done has been able to save you at all." Usagi looked on again in confusion. What was this "_Queen Serenity_" character talking about? And what was her past like?

"What do you mean? Did something similar to now happen to me in the past?" The former queen nodded her head and sighed heavily. "You see, you and Mamoru, or should I say Prince Endymion, were lovers in the past. You were always wandering around and curious about things so much that you never seemed to abide by the rules. You were fascinated by the earth kingdom, or should I say Mamoru.

One day, you transported to earth to see what it was like and spotted Prince Endymion. It was love at first sight. Both of you knew it was forbidden to be in love with each other but it was too late. When I first found out about you two, I was furious but later accepted the fact and gave you two my blessings to wed. You no longer had to sneak out to see each other, but you did have to hide it from the earth people. Once they found out, they were outraged. Queen Beryl started a rebellion within the people of the earth and ended up taking out the Earth prince's parents and guards.

He was later sent to the moon for his own safety. But once Queen Beryl conquered the earth, she moved onto the moon kingdom with vengeance. She successfully destroyed the Moon Kingdom and your guardians. She confronted the both of you and Endymion ended up dying in the process of protecting you. Out of despair, you killed yourself knowing you wouldn't be able to go on without him and I used all of my power in the Silver Imperium Crystal to send you all to be reborn on earth in the present in hopes of you all living in peace. But I guess I hoped for too much."

Usagi took in all the information while blushing. Mamoru was always her lover and she'd always go to drastic measures for him. She felt so stupid after hearing her mother tell her how pathetic she was. "What must I do to make things better?" The former Moon Queen lowered her head in sorrow knowing what her daughter would have to do.

"You can either die and leave this world to save the Moon Kingdom or you can stay here on Earth and fight off the Black Moon Family."

**Hope you liked this chapter. The next chapter will consist of Usagi measuring her choices to stay or go. Please R&R. **


	16. Chapter 16

**Hey guys! We're getting closer to the nitty-gritty of the story. Please enjoy the new installment of Keeping The Secret.**

ChibiUsa was fading. She could see everyone else, but they were all forgetting her. It was like her placement in the world was being depleted at the speed of light. Even her magic couldn't bring her back. She was getting scared, this wasn't good.

This wasn't supposed to happen.

If she was fading, it meant that something was rupturing the space time continuum. If she couldn't make herself visible again, she'd disappear forever. Black spots were beginning to flood her vision and she felt extremely faint. The last thing that she thought of was what the correlation could be between Usagi's "illness" and her disappearance truly mean.

_XXX_

The sailor scouts, Luna, Artemis, and Tuxedo Mask were out of breath, hunched over onto their knees, and bone-tired. Fighting off the enemies clouding Usagi's mind had been a harder task than they'd thought. It looked like damn near every creature that they'd fought before had manifested itself within Usagi's mind. Where were the good memories and the light-heartedness that were once Usagi real self? How could so much evil be harbored inside of such a joyful person?

They caught their breaths and then pushed forward, they knew weren't even halfway done with their job. It was their duty to protect the Moon princess and they'd been slacking for far too long. As a friend and a protector. They all made a silent vow to do their job right this time around and hopefully regain Usagi's friendship. Hopefully.

They heard noises in the far distance and readied themselves for battle. But when they turned the corner, they were shocked to see Usagi alone in the middle of a slightly-illuminated room talking to what seemed to be herself. Mamoru motioned to them to listen just in case there was something else amidst. "I'd rather die than go back to hell on Earth. There is nothing left for me there."

The girls covered their mouths in shock while Mamoru became rigid and tried to remain calm without exploding. He would not let her die. Even if she desperately wanted to. She kept looking up at the mysterious light source and then turned towards their direction. "Get out of here," she said in a low growling tone. "Usagi we just want to help y-" Rei tried to run towards her, but Usagi quickly lifted her hand and released a bolt of energy through Rei's body.

The others quickly came to Rei's side and consoled her. Usagi scowled and turned her head in the other direction. "You can help me by leaving me the hell alone. I hate all of you, especially you," she said while angrily pointing an accusational finger at Mamoru. He looked shocked and then kneeled down next to Rei. He knew he deserved this after the way he treated her the last time he saw her, but he was sure of himself now. He wanted to be with her and help her.

"Usagi, you're not thinking clearly. Queen Beryl has taken control of your mind and placed these demons in-"

"The only demons inside of my mind are you scumbags! Now leave!" Ami stood next to Usagi and startled her for a moment. Kneeling down next to her, Ami stroked Usagi's hair and tried to soothe her, but Usagi yanked herself away and glared at her. "Usagi, we just want to help you. We want to be your friends. You're not thinking straight and you don't look so healthy either. Please let us h-"

"GET OUT!" Usagi yelled as a beam of power shot from her body and transported all of her former friends to god knows where. She looked up at her mother. The former moon queen gave her daughter a sorrowful look and laid a gentle hand upon her head. "I really think you should reconsider your options my dear." Usagi pouted and turned away from her mother. "I will show you the consequences of your selfish wishes."

**IKUKO**

Usagi could see her mother walking around the house until finally making it downstairs to the basement. She opened a dusty box with the word "_**pictures**_" scribbled on the top and pulled out a scrapbook. She flipped through the pages looking at images of her dates with her husband. She smiled at the thought of the days of her young love and how it was all so fast and fleeting. But somehow, they were able to make it through it all.

Flipping farther, she could see the pictures of her maternity days. She caressed the pictures and tried to keep herself from crying. "Usagi…" she whispered softly to herself. She flipped through more of the pages and watched as her daughter grew before her eyes. After a while of looking at the images, Ikuko could not stop the on flow of tears as she kept asking herself the same question over and over: Why?

"I'm a bad mother." she said with a weary definite tone. "I have failed myself and my child. I let my anger cloud out my child's feelings and emotions too many times with my own petty anger. It is my fault that she is dead, it is a punishment from Kami. I deserve this."

Usagi watched with tears forming in her eyes. "Mother…" she called and reached out to her mother, but her hand went straight through her. "There is no consolation in death and mourning," the late Queen Serenity stated emotionlessly. "There is only sadness and unanswered questions." Usagi looked back to her mother's sobbing form. Her mother wiped furiously at her own runny nose and tried to stop river of tears from flowing.

"I'm sorry, Usagi. I'm so sorry. I wish I could've told you that before you killed yourself, but I didn't."

**SHINGO**

Shingo was sprawled out on Usagi's bed with a forlorn expression adorning his face. His eyes had lost their shine and his hair was soaking wet. He'd been like this for the past week. He still couldn't believe it. Usagi was dead. His own sister committed suicide. His mother was trying to make an effort for everyone, but he could see that beneath that shield she tried so desperately to put up, she was also breaking. He'd only taken a shower this afternoon in an effort to raise his mother's spirits. He hadn't moved from Usagi's bed since the day she went to the hospital and he was starting to worry his mother. He wouldn't eat, wouldn't sleep. He barely even wanted to wake up when he did catch a wink or two.

He hadn't been to school either. His friends called, but he'd always answer his mother with the same melancholic silence until she could make up an excuse of why he couldn't come to the phone. Tears slipped from his eyes and travelled down the bridge of his nose. He clutched onto Usagi's pillow gathering her scent and trying to remember a time when things were okay. "Please be okay Usagi," he whispered to himself, "I know I've been a total jerk to you lately, but I don't want you to die. Not before I can apologize to you and tell you that you're the best big sister and kid could have. I'm such an idiot."

He sobbed silently before going into a screaming fit and then a full blown rampage. He kicked the sheets off of her bed, knocked down her dressers, pulled her clothes out of her closet, threw random objects across the room, and then ransacked her bathroom. He took her scale and threw it against the wall breaking it. He looked down at the broken scale panting heavily as tears still streamed down his face.

"It's my fault Usagi. I made you this way. I set your scale twenty pounds heavier than what you were. I called you all those names and made you feel bad about yourself. I made you anorexic and bulimic. I made you think you were fat and worthless," he said through heavy sobs. "But that isn't the worst of all. I made you suicidal. I killed you. I KILLED YOU USAGI!" He continued screaming until his mother rushed to his side to console him. They both sat on the bathroom floor of Usagi's rocking back and forth to the rhythm of their crying.

**KENJI**

The beeping of his daughter's heart monitor was all that was keeping him sane right now. He couldn't imagine what was going through Usagi's head when she wanted downed an entire bottle of diet pills. He sighed and leaned his head down into his lap. She was 72 pounds with scars all over her body. The doctor's words ran through his mind like a broken record.

Anorexia.

Bulimia.

Depression.

Cutting.

Weak heart.

Each one was a hard slap to the face. Everything that he would've never imagined to happen to his daughter in years had become possible. He just thought she was going through a phase. But it was more than that. It was always more than that. He looked from his lap with tears at rims of his blood-shot eyes and watched her fragile body sink up and down unsteadily. He'd never noticed how frail she looked before.

"Maybe I just pushed her too hard. I shouldn't have went to such extremes to make her a better person. I should have let her be herself. I'm sure she would've been happier then." Kenji sighed and looked out into the night sky wondering if he would ever be able to forgive himself for what he'd done to his daughter.

_XXX_

Usagi and Queen Serenity transported back to Usagi's mind and sat staring at each other in silence for a while. Usagi swiped at her tear-streaked cheeks and turned away from her mother stubbornly. "What? Was that supposed to make me sad or something?" The late queen smiled to herself knowingly. Her daughter would always be stubborn. No matter what time period she put her in. "No, I just want you to consider all of your options." Usagi turned and faced her mother. She stood to her full height and looked her mother directly in the eyes. "I have chosen. I will…"

**I guess it's a cliffhanger. Whatever! Please R&R!**


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